/Wes Kao

How To Deliver Bad News When It's Not Your Fault tl;dr: “As much as we don’t want to shoot the messenger, we often associate negative feelings with people who tell us bad news. Wes’ principles for delivering bad news are: (1) Avoid negative words, like "however” and “unfortunately.” (2) Avoid giving too many details. (3) Don't accidentally accept blame. (4) Get to your point quickly. (5) Remind the person of their own agency.

featured in #553


Stop Learning To Give Feedback. Learn To Receive It. tl;dr: “Just because you feel defensive doesn’t mean you should act on your initial impulses. Instead, assume positive intent. Find out more about what caused the person to say what they said. Wes shares a couple of examples of what to initially say and how to respond when receiving negative feedback.” 

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Intellectual Honesty tl;dr: “Intellectual honesty is the foundation for pretty much all professional and personal growth. If you want to improve at your craft, if you want to become a stronger and wiser operator… Wes discusses what this is and how to tell if you’re being intellectually honest. Ask yourself: Is this true? What evidence do I have for and against this? Am I telling myself a certain narrative to avoid facing a truth I don’t like? How might I recognize the truth in a neutral, objective way?”

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Tone And Words: Use Accurate Language tl;dr: “You make decisions, allocate resources, and make plans — all based on words. This is why it’s important that your language accurately reflects a few things: intent, meaning, severity, level of certainty, stakes and power dynamics.” Wes describes how to use words that accurately reflect what you mean.

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Derisking 12 Common Workplace Scenarios tl;dr: Wes covers simple ways to derisk the following workplace scenarios:(1) Sharing an idea your colleagues might find controversial. (2) Giving constructive feedback to a direct report. (3) Testing your offer. (4) You made a mistake and need to tell your customer. (5) Troubleshooting a technical issue. (6) Giving feedback to a peer. And more. 

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How To Identify And Reduce Risk In Your Daily Work tl;dr: Two simple questions to ask yourself: (1) What’s most likely to go wrong? (2) What can I do to prevent this from happening? Wes also covers principles to help derisk work: (A) Embrace a healthy sense of paranoia. (B) Pattern match to remember what happened in similar situations. (C) If you foresee a misunderstanding, speak up and clarify. (D) Risk isn’t binary, it’s on a spectrum. 

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How To Be More Concise tl;dr: (1) Figure out your main point. (2) Try to state your main point in 2-3 sentences. (3) Avoid explaining events chronologically. (4) Constantly remind yourself to shorten your delivery. (5) Exercise situational awareness. (6) Don’t be too concise. (7) For written communication, use “main point above, context below.” (8) For longer verbal communication, use signposting. (9) Offer to elaborate.

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Managers, Be Explicit About What You Need From Your Team tl;dr: Wes discusses each of the following considerations when being explicit about what you need from your team: (1) Don't dive straight into details. (2) Share the overarching goal. (3) Signpost by using keywords that help your team easily make sense of what you’re saying. (4) Use an analogy. (5) Explain your thought process. (6) Reinforce that they are the project owners. (7) Be more specific than you think you have to be. 

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Playing Defense: How To Control The Narrative If Your Work Is Being Questioned tl;dr: “You’ll learn how to respond when stakeholders question your decisions or misunderstand you. We’ll cover: (1) Defending your thinking is normal. Embrace it. (2) Your response will either diminish or build your credibility. (3) Case study #1: A colleague from another team questions your decision. (4) Case study #2: Your CEO questions your strategy.”

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The OARB Framework: Why You Should Appeal To Self-Interest When Giving Feedback tl;dr: I’ll share an advanced technique for getting your feedback recipient to perk up and take action. (1) The OARB framework (Observation, Assertion, Repercussion, Benefit). (2) Make feedback feel visceral by using good logic. (3) Adopt a neutral posture & comment on the behavior, not the person.

featured in #527